February 12, 2023
It’s not your fault!
Just to make sure you’re not asleep … for those who are able, everybody, stand. Now, if you know someone who knows someone who no longer goes to church, sit down.
It could be that the person that you know who no longer goes to church is someone in your own family, like a son or daughter. Or in some cases if you’re a teenager who’s here today, it could even be your mom or dad who no longer goes to church. What I want to say to you is this. It’s not your fault. You did what could. So, repeat after me. “It’s not my fault.”
This past weekend I was up north skiing with three of my nephews. Strapping young men that they are, one is in his 20’sand two in their early 30’s. Sunday after skiing all day, before our spaghetti dinner, in our little cabin in the woods with a roaring fire in our woodburning stove, we celebrated Eucharist. Sounds cozy, doesn’t it? It was.
After the Gospel, I said a few words and opened it up for comments. My one nephew says to me, “Uncle Bob, I’ve never told you this before, but I don’t consider myself a Catholic anymore. And for that matter I’m not into any kind of organized religion.”
At that, his brother, whose faith means a lot to him, says, “When I hear you say that I feel sad because I want faithto be something that we can share together. But even though we see things differently that’s okay, because I love you, and there’s nothing that can take that away from us.”
The next day it’s just my nephew who’s left organized religion and me riding up the chair lift together. I’m thinking this is my chance to square him away. But then something told me, just listen. So, I asked him to say a bit more about what he had said the night before. As I listened, it opened up a good conversation.
In the Gospel passage from Matthew 5, Jesus says, “If you bring your gift to the altar and there recall your brother (or sister) has anything against you” or we could say if you have anything against your brother (or sister) “leave your gift at the altar and go first and be reconciled with our brother (or sister) and then come and offer your gift at the altar.”
In the same way we might say — if a son or daughter or anyone else you know no longer goes to church, reconcile with that. If you carry any resentment because they’re no longer here, forgive them. Or, if you blame yourself for their not being here, forgive yourself.
Last Tuesday a group of us from St. Victoria started a discipleship training course. It’s part of how all the parishes of the Archdiocese are going to implement the Archbishop’s vision on how to carry out the goals coming out of the synod process. The hoped-for outcome is a grassroots evangelization effort to keep our parishes vital and alive in the faith.
Evangelization is a big fancy word for how to invite others to share in a faith that we can live together. This is especially true with those who are no longer coming to church. Catholics are typically pretty private when it comes to talking about their faith. So, how do we do that without being pushy about it?
First, suspend judgment about those who no longer go to church. In many cases it isn’t that they’ve lost their faith. They’re trying to find their faith. Yes, invite them to Mass. But we can’t accept the faith for them. Only they can do that.
Then, be curious. Invite them to share their story. Listen to understand how they came to believe what they do. Then, share why what you believe is important to you. The acronym I use for this is S.O.S.
- S is for “SUSPEND judgement.”
- O is for “listen to the story of the OTHER”
- And S is for “SHARE your story.”
And the thing is we can have these conversations anywhere, on a chair lift while skiing, at the kitchen table at home or at Floyds or wherever. Invite them to Mass, and keep loving them even when they don’t take us up on our offer. And when they do come to Mass, even if it’s just occasionally, be happy to see them. That means, if it’s Christmas and someone is sitting in your seat don’t glare at them. Welcome them!
It’s that kind of hospitality that just may do more to evangelize than all the arguments used to convince people they should be back at church. So, go be evangelizers. Look for opportunities to have those conversations. Then give them to God. And remember, it’s the Holy Spirit who’s in charge not us.
Thought for the day: I can’t change the world. But I can toss a pebble that sends out ripples of love into the world.